


You'll Never Know

by UchihanoChidori



Series: You'll Never Know [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Brother/Brother Incest, Drama, M/M, Romance, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:35:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28789575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchihanoChidori/pseuds/UchihanoChidori
Summary: To hide his true feelings Itachi has turned cold, leading Sasuke to think that he is hated by him. It's been years and they are both tired of the constant misunderstandings. Is it finally time to unveil the truth and find a consensus? Itachi/Sasuke AU.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke
Series: You'll Never Know [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141808
Comments: 33
Kudos: 95





	You'll Never Know

**WARNINGS: ITACHI/SASUKE, INCEST, FOUL LANGUAGE, EXPLICIT M/M SEX SCENES. **

**IF THIS IS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA, DON’T BOTHER READING. PLEASE TURN AROUND IMMEDIATELY AND REFRAIN FROM HATEFUL AND UNNECESSARY COMMENTS - THEY WILL BE DELETED AND I WILL REPORT YOU.**

**A/N:** Dedicated to all the Itachi/Sasuke fans out there who, like me, have a soft spot for these two and not enough fanfics to do them justice.

I hope you guys enjoy it ;)

Not betaed.

* * *

**You’ll Never Know**

Tension settled in the spacious kitchen as a simultaneous appalled and frustrated silence filled it. Uchiha Shisui’s eyes traveled with uncertainty between his two cousins, who were challengingly throwing defiant glares at each other.

“I don’t understand,” Sasuke, his youngest cousin said, his voice barely able to hide how upset he felt. “We used to sleep together all the time. Why is this such a big issue right now?”

“I said what I wanted to say,” Itachi, the eldest one replied, his tone smooth but final as he crossed his arms imposingly over his chest. “I’ve been living by myself for a long time now; I won’t be able to sleep if we share a bed.”

Shisui knew this was a blatant lie, and from the incredulous look on Sasuke’s face, so did he. 

“I will pay for a hotel room since the house will be full because of the party,” Itachi proceeded. “There is no need for this kind of fuss.”

“It’s not about the money, so don’t be stupid,” Shisui intervened. “I’m paying for everything, so that’s not an issue. But this is a family celebration; the purpose is for all of us to be together, under the same roof, like old times.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t want to sleep here, it’s just that he doesn’t want to sleep with _me_ ,” Sasuke snapped, so coldly now that Shisui couldn’t help but flinch. “You know what, Itachi? _Fine_. Whatever. I’ll sleep on the fucking couch so you don’t have to put up with me.”

“Sasuke,” Itachi mumbled, with an exasperated sigh. “That’s not what this is about...”

“I don’t care what this is about,” Sasuke cut, raising a hand to effectively silence the other man. “If you can’t stand me then fucking say it already instead of making pathetic excuses. I’m seriously done trying to fix things when you can’t be bothered to make a fucking effort.”

There was a moment when Itachi’s lips parted as if he was going to say something, but he closed them immediately as Sasuke threw another glare at him - thoroughly hurt, Shisui could see - and walked by the other two, stomping out of the kitchen.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Shisui asked after Sasuke was out of sight, frowning at his cousin, who all but groaned softly, bringing a hand to his face. 

“I don’t know,” Itachi admitted, rubbing his face tiredly. 

“It’s been _years_ , Itachi, and the kid doesn’t even know what he did wrong for you to push him away like this,” Shisui admonished, infuriated. “You’re going to lose him if you keep doing this! Is that what you want?”

“Of course not,” Itachi said, making a face at him. “But what else can I do? I don’t know how to act normal around him anymore, I don’t…”

As Itachi trailed off, Shisui could only roll his eyes at him. It’s not as if he didn’t know the situation between his two cousins was immensely tricky, but he also knew that, at this point, their dynamics were more detrimental than beneficial, regardless of what the eldest thought.

The two had always been close for most of their lives, and yet, shortly after their parents’ deaths, Itachi had decided that putting some distance between him and Sasuke was safer. He did have his reasons, but he was doing it all wrong, and he’d been doing so for years.

It wasn’t so much that he was neglecting Sasuke; it was simply that, by keeping himself away from his brother, Itachi had also taken with him the affection and intimacy he had once shared with Sasuke. These feelings were present in Itachi’s heart, but they didn’t reach Sasuke and this had been a violent blow to the youngest one, who had loved and idolized his brother above everyone else.

Perhaps it was because they were both in their twenties now, and adults who lived completely different lives, in two very different worlds. It felt as though their feelings couldn’t reach the other, the distance between them stealing away the easy interaction and understanding they had once shared. Now, it seemed like all they did was fight and misunderstand each other.

It was sad to see and frustrating beyond belief. They had already lost so much, and yet, they had each other and had been able to cope thanks to the love they had shared – still did.

Allowing his frustration to subside as he summoned back his patience, Shisui placed a hand over Itachi’s shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “You could at least tell him the truth, even if it leads nowhere,” he said, gently. “I don’t know what’s worse to him: knowing the truth or living the rest of his life thinking you hate him for an unknown reason. You have to think about it, Itachi.”

Itachi bit down on his lower lip, closing his eyes for a moment since Shisui’s words had somehow hurt him. “I’d rather that he stays oblivious than to have him hating me,” he whispered.

“Either way, you’re being selfish,” Shisui said. “You know that no matter how upset he is, there is no way he could ever hate you. You’re just being an asshole because you prefer to stay safe and hurt him than to contemplate a scenario where he might reject you.” Shisui shook his head. “It’s not an ideal situation, and there’s no denying that your feelings are taboo. But they are what they are and that’s a harsh reality for both of you. I just didn’t think that you’d choose to hurt him over trying to work things out, not for so long. Personally, I think facing the truth will be better than you losing him. Because if you keep doing this, there will come a time when he _will_ walk away, thinking you don’t want him close. Is that what you're trying to accomplish?” 

“No,” Itachi whispered, vacantly. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him, too.”

“Then do something about it, idiot,” Shisui encouraged, elbowing him roughly, earning a frown in return. “You should take this opportunity to at least make-up with him. It’s been months since you two saw each other, and ages since the family was together like this.”

Itachi merely nodded, and even though Shisui knew he was being heard, his best friend had closed in on himself again - which he did quite often lately - clearly not wanting to talk about it any longer. In fact, Itachi hated talking about it, and never did unless he couldn’t help it. What little Shisui knew about this issue had been discovered by himself since he knew Itachi well, but while the man had confessed the truth to him to find some relief, his intentions and his emotions were a mystery since he kept everything locked away, almost as if fearing that letting them out would unleash something terrible.

Perhaps it would, Shisui couldn’t tell. But there was also a chance that things wouldn’t be as bad as Itachi predicted, regardless of how controversial the situation was, and if there was a chance that his cousins could at least go back to sharing their feelings and their previous companionship, he would make sure to lead them towards the right path.

They had suffered enough already.

000

It was the tenth anniversary of their parents’ deaths, along with their uncle and aunt’s thirtieth wedding anniversary. Sasuke found it rather ironic that they’d be celebrating such a wonderful date along with the reminiscence of a devastating event, but he supposed this was the best way to honor Fugaku and Mikoto’s memory less solemnly.

Sasuke felt grateful for Shisui’s initiative. Every year during this date he was filled with a hopeless sense of loss for the family he once had - the one that seemed to have unfairly fallen apart without him knowing exactly why or how - and realizing that ten years had passed had suddenly made him feel like he’d been carrying a long-term burden he couldn’t seem to get rid of.

Of course, he was grateful for the fact that his uncle had taken him and Itachi in. Thanks to him and his wife, they had been able to grow up in a healthy household alongside Shisui, who was like a brother, lacking for nothing and being offered the opportunities they wouldn’t have had anywhere else. They had become responsible, independent men, and even when they’d left home to live their separate lives, they were still treated as sons.

There was no doubt that they’d been a happy family, even if it couldn’t make up for their original family. 

Well, happiness was a vague and subjective thing in Sasuke’s book. He had no complaints about life with his uncle’s family, but things had been terrible with Itachi from a certain point onwards, which harmed an atmosphere that could otherwise be nearly perfect.

It’s not like Itachi had stopped talking to him or tending to his needs because he had always been attentive and present as an older brother, always seemingly preoccupied with his well-being, and wanting to know his life was going well in all areas. It’s just that these things were made from a calculated distance.

The two of them had always been close, the best of friends, and for about a year, it felt as if their parents’ passing had brought them even closer together as they leaned on each other for anything and everything. Sasuke had been 13 at the time, while Itachi had been 18. 

However, out of the blue things soured. Itachi, who had always been affectionate and kind, had turned cold. Their conversations were always short, his replies dry, the intimacy nonexistent. If before he had acted as if Sasuke was the most precious being in existence to him, suddenly, he acted as if his younger brother was a nuisance he didn’t even want to be physically close to. No matter how much Sasuke tried to close the distance, this only seemed to push Itachi further away - they always ended up fighting.

Sasuke didn’t understand what he could’ve possibly done wrong to cause this, but whenever he tried to ask, his brother dismissed him. 

They’d once had plans to live together when Sasuke came of age. Needless to say that this didn’t happen at all as Itachi fled for college in another country to study medicine, leaving Sasuke behind without a single explanation. 

It was painful. Sasuke had always loved his older brother more than anything, had always envisioned a future where they would do everything together, sharing mundane things and moments like they used to, sharing their successes and being there for their failures. Ten years previously, if someone told him that they’d come down to this, he would have laughed.

But Itachi’s attitude when with Sasuke was a firm contrast to his actions from a distance. He was always checking up on him through text messages, never skipped a family reunion or a meaningful event in Sasuke’s life, and always sent him gifts and money despite knowing Sasuke was doing fine by himself.

The only reason why Sasuke hadn’t returned everything was that he feared that this would cause irreparable damage to their already complicated relationship. 

Still, he was fucking tired - of not knowing what had broken them in the first place, of hoping, and of being consecutively hurt, his feelings trampled repeatedly.

His uncle’s house was full of relatives of all ages staying in for the weekend, every corner alive with conversation, bickering, and laughter, the familiar scents of traditional home cooking bringing forth a wonderful sense of nostalgia. 

Itachi seemed to be in a good mood, making easy conversation with everyone, his polite and gentle mannerisms an impending allure to those who had seen him grow and hadn’t set eyes on him for years. Sasuke couldn’t blame them for making such a fuss - his brother had turned into quite a handsome man and was just starting his internship to become a doctor abroad; it was only natural that everyone was proud and impressed.

Sasuke was a technological engineer, so he didn’t think he was in any way less impressive, but then again, he wasn’t a fucking _doctor_ now, was he? Everyone commented on his good looks but ended up sounding unimpressed when he told them what he did for a living. 

Not that he cared, away, since he was doing just fine. He just wished that his brother would talk to him the same way he talked to their other family members. Sasuke couldn’t even recall the last time Itachi had gently spoken to him at all.

Since it was a bright and warm summer day, the celebrations would be held outside in his uncle’s huge backyard, where several beautifully decorated round tables could be seen as well as a couple of long rectangular ones where the food would be. Shisui had taken care of everything as a gift to his parents, and even if it was a small party, he had made sure that nothing would be lacking. There was even a small dance floor and a sound system. They had prepared two particular moments where the family would offer a few words on both Sasuke’s and Itachi’s parents and then about their uncle and aunt’s long-standing marriage.

Sasuke had helped with the decorations for lack of anything better to do since it was easier keeping himself busy than roaming around the house aimlessly, being forced to socialize and answer the same questions repeatedly. Itachi excelled at that, but not him.

It was almost lunchtime, and soon enough he’d have to help his aunt bring everything outside, but he figured he still had some free time before that, so he took the opportunity to grab himself a beer and head back to the backyard for a short break. He sat crossed legged under a tree and fished his cellphone from the back pocket of his jeans, noticing that he had a text from his best friend, Naruto.

_How’s the party going? Itachi giving you a hard time?_

Sasuke couldn’t help but smirk fondly. Naruto knew Sasuke had been hesitant about this event because of his brother. Naruto understood when to give Sasuke some space, too.

 _I slept on the couch because he wouldn’t sleep with me,_ Sasuke texted back _. I don’t know what I expected, but whatever. Everything’s fine. There’s a lot of people here._

Sasuke sighed before taking a long swig of his beer. Naruto didn’t take long to reply.

_Don’t mind him. If you need something to distract you, think about me ;P_

Despite himself, Sasuke rolled his eyes, even if he was smiling. 

_Will do._

He had met Naruto in college and they’d been tight ever since. Naruto had been in love with him for a while, a fact he didn’t exactly hide and something they had talked about recently.

In all honesty, Naruto was someone Sasuke genuinely liked and trusted with his own life, but his feelings for his best friend were strangely blurred to him. Sasuke hadn’t dated a lot of people in his life because it wasn’t his thing - too complicated, too demanding, and he hadn’t been feeling it at all - so he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do regarding his best friend’s affections. They had fooled around a few times when boredom struck and it _had_ been nice. A part of him thought that he and Naruto would be good together, but another part hesitated for reasons he couldn’t understand. He wasn’t sure how much of himself he wanted to invest, and hurting Naruto’s feelings was something he didn’t want to do in fear of compromising their friendship.

He had already lost someone precious before, he didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he lost Naruto, too.

Thankfully, Naruto was respectful and had given him time to think about things properly, and Sasuke did; but it was difficult thinking of an answer when he didn’t understand how he felt, and the truth was, he felt weird most of the time as if some part of himself was a piece trying to fit the wrong puzzle. Perhaps this was due to his unresolved situation with Itachi, but he was sure there were things he needed to work on before he could move forward. 

Something told him Naruto understood this, too.

“Texting the boyfriend?”

Sasuke jumped at hearing the voice as he looked over his shoulder and up to see his brother standing with his shoulder leaning on the tree trunk. Itachi seemed cautiously curious, his long black hair tied in a loose ponytail that fell over a shoulder, the bright day causing his dark grey eyes to seem lighter somehow. He was holding a cigarette between his fingers, looking casually handsome, and it pissed Sasuke off for some reason.

“It’s Naruto, and he’s not my boyfriend,” Sasuke said as he immediately flipped his phone over. “Either way, it’s none of your business.”

“Of course,” Itachi said, apparently not affected by Sasuke’s snappishness as his expression didn’t change. “You’d be good together, though.”

Sasuke’s heart skipped an unpleasant beat at that. What the fuck?

Frowning at his brother, Sasuke then moved to stand, putting his phone inside his pocket again and facing Itachi. For reasons he didn’t understand, he felt utterly annoyed. 

Itachi’s eyes were firm, staring into his in an almost relaxed demeanor as he bought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled lightly. Sasuke’s eyes were drawn to the action, his annoyance momentarily clouded as he _stared_. Itachi had this disgusting habit of being flawlessly mesmerizing. Maybe it was his looks or the way he held himself - he always looked like someone who would always have the upper hand no matter what. 

Breathing deep through his nose, Sasuke cleared his throat. “When did you start smoking?” he asked, his voice satisfyingly collected. “Isn’t that a bad habit to pick up for someone who’s about to become a doctor?”

“It’s just an occasional pleasure,” Itachi said, shrugging as he exhaled the smoke slowly. “Either way, my habits are _none of your business_ , Sasuke.”

As usual, Sasuke felt his temper rise at the well-chosen reply - Itachi always knew how to counter his words in a way that would affect him. Five years ago, Sasuke would have probably yelled at him to go fuck himself, but the time they’d be away from each other had taught him self-control and forced him to mature enough to not let his mouth run faster than his brain. 

If they weren’t walking on thin ice already this conversation could be mistaken as easy banter; only it never was between them.

With a huff, Sasuke allowed himself a dry smile, willing his feelings to not get the best out of him when he knew Itachi did it on purpose to rile him up. He had no idea why this happened, but he couldn’t let the other win.

He took another sip of his bottled beer, his eyes fixed on his brother’s. 

He lowered his beer. “Why are you like this?” he asked calmly, reaching out with his free hand to grab the cigarette from between Itachi’s fingers. “Do you take pleasure in pissing me off?”

Sasuke brought the cigarette to his lips, pleased at noticing the way Itachi’s eyes darkened and his brow furrowed - he was also an occasional smoker, but this wasn’t something Itachi was aware of, and it upset the man. Good.

“I was trying to have a polite conversation until _you_ dismissed me,” Itachi countered. It was disappointing when he didn’t mention the cigarette.

“If your idea of a polite conversation between us involves you upsetting me, then that’s a job well done,” Sasuke said sarcastically, expelling the smoke in his lungs and extending the cigarette back to his brother.

Itachi’s expression was inscrutable, yet there was an unexpected flash of emotion in his eyes that Sasuke couldn’t define but that made his throat feel inexplicably constricted. “What is it?” Sasuke asked, confused by the sudden shift in the tension.

A little surprised, Sasuke froze as he watched Itachi lift a hand and reach out to him, warm knuckles brushing softly against his cheek. The touch was light, gentle, yet it was the first time in years that Itachi had touched him. It was simple but felt foreign and unlike anything he had been a receptacle of when they’d been close.

Chaste as it was, it came as a shock to Sasuke, who could only stand there, unmoving and with his mouth slightly ajar. Within him, the impulse to nuzzle into the touch was strong, but he held himself back in fear that he might do something wrong, again. It was good, relieving even, but what was it supposed to mean when Itachi always did unexpected things that never seemed to be intended to change their current predicament?

Still, Sasuke couldn’t help but feel the flames of hope burn inside his chest, like they always did whenever his brother was surprising like this.

God, he hated himself for falling for this all over again.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you all the time, Sasuke,” Itachi said in a smooth murmur, sounding almost sad - was that even possible? - as he broke the contact. He accepted the cigarette Sasuke was still extending, their fingers brushing for a millisecond. “And I’m sorry that I don’t know how to fix this.”

Fix what, exactly? Sasuke wanted to ask but was interrupted by his aunt's voice, calling him from the back entrance of the house.

“Sasuke! We need you to make your special salad!” she called out, causing him to look to the side so he could see her waving at him energetically in her always happy way. 

Sasuke's heart sank as his eyes quickly traveled back to his brother. 

"Fix what?" He finally voiced his question, but Itachi all but offered him a small smile. 

"Auntie is waiting for you," he muttered, softly. "Don't keep her waiting."

Even though he wanted to push the subject, by now Sasuke knew well enough that this was Itachi's final word on the subject, at least for now. Regardless, it was more than he'd given him in a long time, and the youngest one couldn't help but feel expectant. 

Could he allow himself to believe that the breach would be closed?

Swallowing hard, Sasuke nodded. “We’re not done,” he hissed, before turning on his heel and making his way back into the house.

000

Sasuke was all over the place, and even if it wasn’t noticeable to their relatives, Itachi could see it clearly. After all, he was the one to blame for having done something to unbalance him so unexpectedly.

Once again, he had been impulsive. In his haste to placate Sasuke’s anger and reassure him somehow, Itachi had broken a well-known pattern between them, confusing the other man and likely upsetting him further, even if for completely new reasons.

At 28, and being an accomplished man as he was, Itachi was supposed to know better by now - to understand how to deal with his situation with his younger brother in a civilized, rational manner. The problem was, ten years had passed and he hadn’t learned a thing, mostly because his feelings had remained unchanged, his constant state of fear and anxiety ever-present, especially when he was in Sasuke’s presence.

It was thoroughly painful because he had never felt so alone in his life, not even when their parents had died. At least back then they’d had each other.

Of course, he knew he had brought this upon himself since Sasuke had always done everything he could to make amends.

Itachi was doing just fine in all areas of his life, but no-one had the power to shake him the way Sasuke did. When they weren’t in the same space, Itachi regained his composure, able to speak calmly and behave like a sort of normal brother. However, when they were in the same room, breathing the same air, Itachi felt suffocated. There was so much he wanted to do, so many things he wanted to say that his feelings seemed to be constantly on the verge of spilling and all he could do was defend himself by pushing Sasuke away. 

His beloved little brother was like a blinding light that drew him in, and the more Itachi turned away, the more his heart lured him towards the other. It didn’t help that Sasuke had grown to become a beautiful, smart and independent man who, despite his strong personality, never failed to deliver that childish need for Itachi’s attention that always broke his heart.

Hurting Sasuke wasn’t easy, and not something Itachi would ever choose to do, but there was no other way - his heart and his body simply didn’t know how to behave around Sasuke in a way that wouldn’t give his sinful feelings away. That was his biggest fear - that Sasuke would find out and willingly run away. All things considered, even if his brother gave up on him at some point, as Shisui had said, he would never truly hate him. It was better to be alone than to become a receptacle of disgust and contempt coming from the one person he couldn’t live without.

Still, Itachi wondered how much of this was true when he was tired of hurting, too. He wondered how much longer he could endure this situation before it consumed him and had him losing his mind in grief. There was only so much loneliness a person could endure before it became unbearable, and without Sasuke as an active presence in his life, Itachi felt devastatingly lonely in ways not even he could understand.

The party had been lively, as everyone was happy to indulge in laughter and conversation. Sasuke’s famous salad was a success that kept him busy for a while, and even though he made small talk with the family here and there, it was clear that he didn’t feel at ease, unlike Itachi, who slipped from one conversation to another smoothly to pass the time.

Neither Itachi nor Sasuke wanted to make a speech in their parents’ memory, not because they had nothing to say, but because there wasn’t anything light-hearted enough that was worth sharing with others. Still, a few family members did offer a few words. Itachi was grateful that they hadn’t put up any pictures because that was something he had a hard time looking at, even now. Somehow, he knew Sasuke felt the same way.

They did offer a small grateful speech to honor their uncle and aunt, who had been their caretakers for so long.

As the day stretched out and the sun began to set, spirits seemed to be elevated. Itachi’s gaze had been following his brother’s steps all day, as he didn’t stop for a moment, constantly helping with cleaning up, bringing more food outside, and tending to everyone’s needs to allow their aunt some free time. Itachi enjoyed seeing this hardworking side of him, yet had unavoidably noticed that Sasuke had also picked up a drink every time he had a couple of minutes to breathe. Sasuke wasn’t one to drink much, meaning that he was obviously struggling with his thoughts while overindulging and would probably collapse soon.

When Itachi couldn’t spot him anywhere in his field of vision he excused himself and went looking for him. It only took a few minutes before he found Sasuke sitting alone on the floor in the living room, his back against the family-sized sofa, knees pulled to his chest and head buried in his arms. 

With cautious steps to not startle him, Itachi approached him and crouched down, placing a tender hand at the top of his head. “Sasuke,” he called out worriedly. “Why are you here by yourself? What’s wrong?”

There was a groan but Sasuke didn’t lift his head. “I feel sick,” he muttered. “I’m not drunk, I just can’t stand up very well, I... urgh.”

Itachi almost smiled. “Okay,” he said, patting the top of Sasuke’s head. “Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom.”

Carefully, Itachi helped Sasuke stand. Thankfully, the younger one hadn’t been lying when he said he wasn’t that bad since wasn’t exactly a dead weight and tried to stand up by himself, still not putting up resistance at Itachi’s help. Together, they made their slow way to the nearest bathroom. 

The house was empty, so no witnesses were listening to the horrible sound of retching as Sasuke disposed of his stomach’s contents the second he reached the toilet. 

After having grabbed a towel and wet it, Itachi sat down on the floor next to his brother and calmly wiped his sweaty forehead clean, placing a reassuring hand on his back while patiently waiting until he was done. Sasuke rarely got sick, so Itachi couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken care of him like this, but this moment, albeit uncomfortable, brought with it a sense of familiarity that was blissfully fulfilling. Nothing was endearing about it, still, all Itachi felt was longing and affection along with a small sense of sadness at the knowledge that he’d most likely been the cause.

Sasuke was so big now, so strong and dependable that it had felt like he’d never need Itachi to look after him ever again.

“Better?” Itachi asked when it seemed like the retching had stopped and Sasuke didn’t feel like throwing up anymore.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Sasuke was a lot steadier as Itachi helped him up again. In silence, he slowly washed his face and brushed his teeth while Itachi grabbed for some cleaning supplies to clean the toilet with. Itachi had the impulse to make a sad joke about the family finding out Sasuke was drunk but chose to keep his mouth shut considering he’d already done enough damage in less than 48 hours. 

“You should get some sleep,” Itachi said, once he deemed that Sasuke was stable enough and had enough color back in his cheeks.

“I’m fine,” Sasuke dismissed, running a hand through his hair even if his voice was hoarse and fatigued. “I’ll just take a quick nap on the couch.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you need to rest properly,” Itachi cut, ushering his brother outside of the bathroom. “You’ve been working hard all day. Come on.”

Sasuke was quiet and almost shy as Itachi led him to his room (the room they had shared when they had lived there) and immediately pushed the covers of the king-sized bed back.

“Are you alright with me sleeping here?” Sasuke asked in a careful whisper. “What if I don’t wake up until morning?”

“I’ll take the couch myself.”

Pressing his lips tightly together, Sasuke didn’t comment, but it was clear that it didn’t sit well with him. At Itachi’s wordless head tilt, though, he climbed on the bed and lay down on his side, watching as the other covered him and tucked him in. Itachi did this in an almost paternal fashion, his actions coming naturally to him despite their age and how long it had been since he’d last done something of the sort, but Sasuke’s intense, curious gaze on him was still nerve-wracking.

“Itachi,” Sasuke called out, his voice firm, yet hesitant. “Why are you like this?”

The same question asked twice on the same day. 

With a sigh, Itachi knelt on the floor and crossed his arms over the mattress, his face close to Sasuke’s enough to be personal, but not imprudently close. The room was darkening as night approached, but there was still enough light for them to be able to see each other.

“Why am I how?” Itachi questioned softly, his eyes staring into Sasuke’s. 

“You act like you can’t stand me but then do shit like this,” Sasuke explained, swallowing hard to muffle the emotion in his voice. “I don’t understand.”

Itachi allowed himself a small smile, his heart clenching. “You’re my brother, Sasuke,” he replied. “Regardless of my actions and whether they’re perceived as good or bad in your eyes… you’ll never know how much you mean to me.”

“I won’t know if you keep doing this,” Sasuke retorted, with a frown, his voice cracking slightly and coming as a harsh stab to Itachi’s very soul. “Just tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it. I can’t do this much longer, it’s exhausting…”

Beautiful grey eyes shone with poorly held back tears as Sasuke bit down on his lower lip and stopped himself.

For a moment, seeing this sort of reaction so up close almost made Itachi fall apart. It had been too long since he and Sasuke had been alone together, especially in this room that they had shared for so many years (even after the chaos had settled) and everything felt heavy and ominous all of a sudden. When it was just the two of them and Sasuke was so innocently honest like this, it felt as if the world belonged to just the two of them and everything was possible - as if, somehow, a happy ending could reach them.

Itachi, too, wanted to have Shisui’s faith that everything would fall into place at some point, that there was a place for him and Sasuke to co-exist in this unfortunate predicament. Still, he was terrified. Was the truth the least hurtful outcome?

Taking a deep breath, Itachi leaned in and placed a light, lingering kiss on Sasuke’s forehead, feeling the instant tenseness in the other’s body. Sasuke smelled of alcohol and shampoo and the proximity was painful, yet heavenly. He wished he could stay like this forever without fear.

Pulling away, he smiled again. “Not today,” Itachi said, almost sweetly. “Get some rest, now.”

As expected, Sasuke knew not to demand more - or was too tired to do so. With a nod of his head, Itachi got up and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaning his back against it.

Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes, his heart beating wildly inside his chest, a painful grip in it making it hard to breathe.

There was no telling how much longer he could keep up with this façade, but he felt on the brink of despair, everything in him threatening to overflow, fall apart, break beyond repair. 

Was staying away forever really the best choice?

What the hell was he doing to the both of them? 

000

Having indeed slept through to the next morning, Sasuke woke up a little dazed to find out that he wasn’t alone in the bed - Shisui was sleeping beside him, probably having needed to give his room up for some family members to crash in. Family reunions were always like that.

It was surely early because the sun had just started to rise, the house completely quiet which meant that it was the perfect time to take a shower before the commotion started and everyone wanted to use the bathroom at the same time. 

Underneath the warm spray of water, Sasuke was reminded of the previous day, where everything and nothing had happened. Itachi had said confusing things and acted in a different way than usual at times. It was difficult to understand what it all meant, so out of the blue.

_You’ll never know how much you mean to me…_

Those words had been shocking, yet relieving, a strong contrast to his brother’s usual standoffish dismissal of him. Even if Sasuke had known that Itachi cared for him on some level, it was easy to forget it with his constant rejections or to mistake it for some sort of moral obligation.

But Itachi had said that it wasn’t the case at all. Then what was it? Would he truly tell him someday, or would he just keep evading him forever as he did now?

Was this confession meant to change things between them for the better, or were they doomed to keep clashing as always?

Freshly bathed and changed, Sasuke went downstairs to the kitchen to grab himself something to eat, only to find Itachi already there, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him and a book. The eldest one had gotten properly dressed in some jeans and a grey shirt and seemed to have showered as well, his long hair tied in his usual casual ponytail. 

Itachi didn’t seem fazed at seeing Sasuke there.

"I was waiting for you," he said in his well-mannered way. "Care to go for a ride with me?"

The suggestion took Sasuke by surprise, and he could only nod. "Sure," he agreed without missing a beat. "Let me just grab something to eat and we’ll get going."

"Take your time."

000

There was a palpable tension as they drove in Itachi's rented car. Since it was still early in the morning on a Sunday, there were very few cars on the road. Sasuke had driven there himself in his vehicle and had felt immensely satisfied looking at the amazing landscapes that he’d always been fond of. His relatives lived close to a small village in a remote location in the mountains that never ceased to impress him for their nostalgic beauty. 

It was intoxicatingly solemn, that moment.

Itachi was the one driving though, something for which Sasuke was thankful since he didn’t trust himself to be able to focus - he was too distracted, too uneasy.

His brother looked calm, contemplating even, but he hadn’t said anything yet and Sasuke didn’t know if he was supposed to make conversation, if Itachi wanted to talk or simply drive in silence like this until God knew when. The man had become such a mystery in the last few years that Sasuke never knew what to expect or what his intentions were.

All he knew was that he didn’t want to fight, not when they’d finally had the opportunity to spend some time alone together as per the other man’s rare initiative.

Still, Sasuke didn’t know what to expect or if he should expect anything at all. 

Eyes trained on his older brother, Sasuke tried to read him. In the past, this wasn’t difficult, but the older the other got, the more efficient he’d become at masking his thoughts and emotions.

“Promise me one thing, Sasuke,” Itachi spoke, his voice carrying a seriousness that betrayed his blank expression. “No matter what I tell you, you won’t run away from me. Promise that you won’t walk away and break our bond.”

As with everything Itachi said, the ominousness of those words hit Sasuke like a punch as his stomach did a painful twist. “Of course I won’t,” he promised without a second thought, studying Itachi’s profile with both concern and elation - Itachi still considered them as bonded. “I don’t think anything you tell me can make things worse than they are right now.”

An ironic smirk appeared on Itachi’s lips but he kept his eyes trained on the road. “Is that so?” he muttered, suddenly bitter. The smirk disappeared immediately. Sasuke’s eyes lowered to Itachi’s hands on the steering wheel, noticing how they had tightened around it. “I’m in love with you.”

There was nothing but silence then, the sentence Itachi had uttered not having resonated within Sasuke at first as he looked at his brother again, blinking confusedly. Surely he hadn’t heard correctly. “What did you just say?” he muttered, in disbelief.

“You heard me the first time, Sasuke,” Itachi retorted, almost angrily, still not looking back at him. “It’s been like this for years and I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t apologize enough for the way I treated you, but I didn’t know how to face you. I still don’t know what else to do…”

Sasuke felt suddenly sick in an inexplicable way, his whole body feeling as if a bucket of ice-cold water had been dropped over his head. He couldn’t even think. “Stop the car,” he snapped, cutting Itachi short before he could ramble further. 

“I can’t just stop the car in the middle of nowhere,” Itachi complained, surprised at the request.

“There’s no-one on the road!” Sasuke hissed demandingly. “Pull over and stop the fucking car right now!”

Clenching his teeth Itachi did as he was told, driving only for a short while until he found a small opening on the side of the road and managed to safely pull over.

“Sasuke…”

“Shut up for a second.”

Staring at his knees, Sasuke noticed that he was short of breath, eyes wide and every hair in his skin standing on edge.

 _What the fuck._ What the _fuck_ was happening, he couldn’t even think straight. 

Did his brother just tell him that he was… did he just…

Thousands of memories and thoughts raced through his mind erratically and he couldn’t focus on a single one of them, dizziness making his head spin. So many things made sense now, so many details he missed clicking and falling into place, and really, how could he have been so stupid, so naïve? He should’ve known, he should’ve seen it coming and instead, he had misinterpreted everything.

Had they been torn apart for something like this? How could this be? They were brothers, he couldn’t even understand why or how but it was so obvious, yet didn’t make any sense.

“Fuck,” he whispered, bending over and burying his face in his hands - all he could feel was a horrible ache in his chest that carried with it too many conflicting emotions he had no energy to consider. “Holy shit…”

Itachi’s tense state was palpable beside him, yet he didn’t say a word, giving Sasuke some space to work things through in whichever way he saw fit.

Time seemed to have stopped as the two sat there, each dealing with their feelings individually, but both knowing that this was the beginning of something new, something that could potentially fix them or break them, and at the moment, Sasuke didn’t care which because, much like Itachi, he had no fucking clue as to what to do.

After what felt like hours, Sasuke straightened up and took a deep, shaky breath. Itachi had leaned his shoulder against the door of the car, his head resting against the window as he looked outside, lifelessly. For a moment, Sasuke felt like offering him some comfort because he looked devastated, yet thought against it because this situation was already fragile enough as it was without him making it worse with unwanted physical contact that his brother might reject.

Either way, this simple thought told him that hatred was something he didn’t feel and that this knowledge didn’t make him feel disgusted, just… strangely speechless and immensely sorry.

“When did it start?” Sasuke eventually asked in a whisper, so he could try to understand Itachi’s story and the path he’d taken up until this point.

“I don’t know, but I realized it perhaps a year after mother and father passed away,” Itachi confessed, slowly emotionlessly. “You were 14, I think, far too young, and it felt like a hurricane had run me over when I noticed it. I felt like the most insane and monstrous person on earth.”

It was the dark choice of words that caused Sasuke’s throat to run dry. “Why? Did you want to fuck me or something?”

Okay, so that wasn’t the most tactful thing to say, but he couldn’t be blamed for not thinking straight.

“No, that came later, when you came of age and I couldn’t stop myself from considering it anymore,” Itachi said, his voice having dropped a few cold octaves, still not meeting Sasuke’s eyes even if his reply was challenging. “I just… loved you so much I could burst. It made it painful to be in the same room as you, and even worse to be on the same bed.”

Biting down on his lower lip, Sasuke inhaled deeply through his nose. It was overwhelming, listening to something like this coming from his own brother.

“I don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “We’re brothers; never mind that we’re both men, it’s not like we’re straight. I just… Why _me_?”

“Who else?” Itachi countered, with a short, dry laugh as if it was obvious. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. I’ve been hopelessly attached to you since you were born. You were everything to me, you still are; that hasn’t changed.” 

“I didn’t know…” Sasuke muttered, shivering at the intensity of the statement. “So you thought pushing me away and being an ass was the best option?”

“It was the only way I could think of to keep myself from you, and from stopping you from finding out the truth,” Itachi admitted, with a shrug of his shoulders. “I thought that if you felt defensive against me you would never be able to see through me. I was scared you might run away if you found out. I never wanted to lose you. I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t.”

Sasuke contemplated his brother, trying to put himself in his shoes and realizing that such a situation must’ve been a living hell. It hurt him so much on Itachi’s behalf he couldn’t even find the will to be angry or frustrated anymore.

Slowly, Sasuke unbuckled his seatbelt and twisted his body so he was facing the other man. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand so he could grab the sleeve of his shirt and give it a small tug. “Please, look at me,” he asked, carefully.

Itachi closed his eyes for a second, as if to find the willpower to face him, but ended up conceding. When their eyes met, though, the uncertainty in his gaze tore at Sasuke’s very soul as another shiver shook him to the core.

That’s right; this handsome and fearless man that was his brother was a vulnerable mess because he was in love with him.

How could it be? How would Sasuke be responsible for such a thing; what had he ever done to deserve such a painful devotion for so long?

Rather, how could he possibly even begin to take responsibility?

“I don’t hate you, Itachi,” he muttered, with as much confidence as his dazed state could muster. “It’s a fucked up situation, but you’re too important to me for it to matter, okay? You should’ve told me before so we could work it out, somehow…”

“There’s nothing to work out,” Itachi stated, with a deep frown. “I won’t demand a single thing from you, but this is a reality I live with; this interferes with the way I am around you, and with how we interact with each other." He paused, pained. "Even if I'm relieved that you say you want to work around this, can you honestly tell me that you will look at me and not be affected by how I feel about you?"

Sasuke gulped again, blinking at his brother.

"I don't know," he admitted, shaking his head helplessly. "This is… I need to think about it properly, but it doesn't mean we can't find some sort of balance or something." Sasuke grabbed Itachi's arm now, emphatically. "You can't decide what's best on your own. You have to give me a chance to see how I feel about this, how we can find a solution. I won't let you carry this burden alone. You have no reason to shut me out anymore."

To Sasuke’s relief, Itachi offered him a lopsided smile. "Hearing you say that makes me feel like a fool for hiding this from you," he said, shaking his head from side to side in self-disbelief. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke, that I didn’t trust you, and I'm sorry that you have to be a receptacle of such a thing."

"Don't say that," Sasuke hissed, firmly. "I understand now why you did it, and I forgive you. Don't say it's a terrible thing."

"I'm just stating a fact," Itachi pressed on, eying him fondly. "You truly are a formidable person."

"I'm not," Sasuke denied, a little taken aback. It had been so long since he’d seen that look in Itachi’s eyes and heard that gentle tone of voice that it brought him back in the most amazing ways. If anything, he was so glad that he had it back. "This is really overwhelming, Itachi, but a part of me feels relieved that you don't hate me for anything I did, that all our problems so far were just… _this_. Not that it's a small thing, but I was thinking it had to be something much worse."

Itachi released a small, dry laugh. "Few things could be worse than this."

"That's not fucking true,” Sasuke muttered. “Nothing feels that bad as long as we have each other. I always felt that way, even if things were dire between us."

Expression falling and turning suddenly serious, Itachi stared at Sasuke unblinkingly with that odd intensity that made people recoil. There was astonishment there, too. Sasuke doubted Itachi wanted to intimidate him in any way, but that gaze was almost predatory and Sasuke could see thousands of thoughts running through the other’s mind as his emotions displayed dangerously all over his features - emotions Sasuke hadn’t been privy to before, but that took him by force and froze him in place.

For a few seconds, the air seemed to thicken, unfamiliar tension surrounding them. It was the kind of palpable atmosphere Sasuke knew well but had always known how to deal with - he’d felt with Naruto several times - yet felt foreign now.

For some reason, more than anything else his brother had said, this silent moment exposed exactly how fatefully real it was and it took his breath away.

Itachi ended up huffing, his shoulders slumping heavily as he closed his eyes again, rubbing at his forehead with a hand. "God help me, this is the worst," he sighed, dejectedly. “You don’t make it any easier for me. I love you so much I can't stand it. I don’t know how to feel at all."

Despite himself, Sasuke could only feel for his brother, deeply moved by his words and his distress. Against his better judgment, he allowed his own emotions to take the better out of him as he impulsively broke the short distance between them to quickly pull Itachi to him so he could wrap his arms around his neck in a hug.

Itachi’s scent was strong, of soap and an expensive perfume that was meant to make a powerful statement. It had been so long since they had last hugged that it was a completely unknown feeling, and yet, hesitant and insecure as Sasuke had been around him for all those years, he didn’t exactly feel shy or out of place.

Even if his body was in an awkward position, it felt good, like returning home after a far too long journey.

Itachi went rigid in his embrace at first, almost fearful, unsure of what to do.

“It’ll be okay,” Sasuke whispered in his ear. “We’ll work things out, together.”

Slowly, carefully, Itachi adjusted his position and hugged Sasuke back, uncertain at first, but quickly finding the confidence to tighten his hold, burying his face in the curve between Sasuke’s neck and shoulder. 

The onslaught of emotions that washed over Sasuke was strong, but all of them positive, soothing as his heart filled with hope. Everything would be alright now, one way or another. They would find a solution - they had to.

_I love you so much I can’t stand it._

Itachi’s words suddenly echoed in his mind and felt himself go rigid with awareness. 

The man in his arms was in love with him. There was no mistaking it now that he paid attention to the other’s body language. Itachi’s heartbeat was frantic against his ribcage, thumping violently against Sasuke’s chest, the man’s breathing quiet but faster than usual. Strong fingers curled around Sasuke’s t-shirt over his shoulder blades wantonly as he seemed to be gently inhaling the scent that came from his neck.

This kind of reaction wasn’t news to Sasuke either, but coming from his brother was certainly eerie and strangely flattering.

_Flattering, huh?_

Sasuke didn’t know what to do - he hadn’t had enough time to consider any of this, his feelings, the future of their relationship, or what he even wanted to come out of this.

Biting down on his lip, he brought a hand to the back of Itachi’s head, stroking it comfortingly as if silently telling him it was okay. What, exactly, was okay, he had no idea, but he still nuzzled his cheek softly against the other’s temple, heaving a small sigh.

The only thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t want to lose Itachi again and that he loved him.

Indeed, now that he thought about it… he _did_ love Itachi like crazy, always had. Whether that kind of love could bring down the fact that they were linked by blood he didn’t know.

Still, his heartbeat had, for some reason, sped up considerably, and surely, Itachi could feel it, too. Sasuke didn’t have the time to feel embarrassed about it, though, because he could feel the unexpected pressure of lips against his neck, deterring him from his conflicting thoughts. 

It was but a kiss that one could even call chaste, but it made every nerve in his body scream and his mind become clouded. 

He held his breath as those expert lips brushed his skin, mouthing at the spot carefully, almost as if waiting for Sasuke to stop them. 

But Sasuke couldn't think when it felt nice enough to make him respond automatically, tilting his head to the side for more access as his eyes closed. He had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but being given a green light allowed Itachi explore further as his mouth moved again, brushing a path upwards along the column of Sasuke’s neck and jaw. 

Despite himself, Sasuke couldn’t help the small moan that escaped him as small, delicate kisses were pressed under his ear, one after the other until they reached his cheek, his hold on his brother tighter, wordlessly requesting more from him.

The kisses were careful, experimental but also meaningful, an uncanny resemblance to how Itachi used to kiss him when he was a child - a torrent of playful pecks all over his face to make him laugh - only it was slower now, ominous like a silent prayer, but not brotherly at all.

Just as Sasuke's breathing became more elaborate, Itachi pulled away, causing Sasuke's eyes to reopen to notice that the other man's face was dangerously close to his. 

He swallowed hard, staring into his brother's curious gaze that seemed to solemnly gauge his reaction. They were so close he could feel their breaths mingle between them.

Itachi was undeniably the most attractive person he knew, Sasuke thought, scanning the features in front of him in awe.

What the hell was he thinking, and why was he starting to get aroused?

He wasn't in the right mind to consider any of this, not now when it was all so ridiculously crazy and overwhelming already. 

Itachi's eyes dropped to Sasuke's mouth then, and this time, it was he who bit down on his lower lip. For a brief moment, Sasuke wondered if Itachi was going to kiss him, but the man promptly leaned further away, even if he didn't let go of him. "I'm sorry if that was too much," he said softly. "It's been a while; I became emotional and got carried away."

Unless Itachi had gotten hard with that interaction, Sasuke couldn't exactly say he'd misbehaved, but he wasn't going to comment on it to avoid embarrassing himself. "It's fine," he reassured, even if his voice shook slightly. 

Itachi chose not to make any observation as he offered him a small smile and pressed a kiss to his temple before letting go of him completely. "Thank you, Sasuke," he said simply, back to his polite ways, his expression a lot lighter than it had been in months, years. The sight was familiar to Sasuke, yet he’d almost forgotten it. Nevertheless, it warmed his heart and made funny things happen to his stomach.

Besides, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that they weren’t touching anymore, but he didn’t want to think about it too deeply at such an early stage.

“Let’s drive for a while before going back home,” he suggested, smiling back as he leaned back against his seat. “We have some catching up to do.”

Itachi all but nodded, his smile unwavering. “As you wish.”

000

Even if they hadn’t exactly solved things between them, they still hadn't slept together as per Itachi’s request, and since he seemed even more uncomfortable with the idea now than he did before, knowing what he knew Sasuke wasn’t going to push it.

Once the weekend was over, he and Itachi had decided to go their separate ways for a few days. There were things Itachi needed to take care of in his apartment before going abroad again, and Sasuke wanted to have some time away from him to finally think objectively about things that had felt like a blurry dream after the truth had been unveiled.

Neither of the brothers wanted to spend more time at their uncle’s home considering they both had their respective places - Itachi had an apartment downtown while Sasuke had kept their cozy family home.

Back then when they’d both come of age, Sasuke had been devastated that Itachi didn’t want to move in with him, but he understood things now and hoped that, somehow, someday, the other would reconsider living with him.

The two had parted ways with an embrace, and Sasuke had promised to think everything over and give Itachi an answer, or at least a temporary solution before he went abroad.

There was time left, but not that much. No matter how happy Sasuke was that the air had finally been cleared between them, truth was, his mind and heart were filled with nothing but chaos. Even if he had said that everything was alright and that it would be fine, _he_ was far from it. He hoped that going back home would put things in perspective since that was the place where they’d lived with their parents. He needed to think of Itachi as his brother, but also as someone who loved him as more than such and understand what weighed more, or if either of those designations meant anything at all in this situation.

Concluding that Itachi’s feelings didn’t bother him was something he didn’t waste time on - it was only natural that loving him the way he did, Sasuke would accept it and be understanding. Regardless, he needed to see where, and if, there were lines to be drawn because, right now, things were hazy for him.

Once he had time to think about things from a less impulsive and rampant point of view. reality hit him like a tidal wave, and while Itachi hadn’t asked a single thing out of him, facts were still facts, and they couldn’t simply pretend that they didn’t exist, even if it would probably make things easier for a while. In the long run, ignoring it would turn Sasuke into a selfish, inconsiderate person and Itachi would be the one wounded - he already was.

Their situation wasn’t exactly normal; they were brothers, so it wasn’t simply a matter of Itachi confessing his love and Sasuke either accepting or rejecting him - their relationship could never be dealt with in such a frivolous way, least of all after they had spent so many years ignoring each other. If they were going to fix it and work this through, they’d do it properly.

Only Sasuke had no idea what to do, even if he supposed Itachi himself knew what he wanted from him. Question was, what did _he_ want from Itachi? Could he acknowledge those feelings and, as Itachi had said, not end up being affected by them? What, exactly, would that mean? What could he do to make it easier for both of them?

The answer, albeit controversial, was quite simple. If he responded to Itachi’s feelings, at least one issue would be removed from their paths and everything else would be solved one step at a time, even if it would never be quite as simple as that. 

Still, Sasuke was surprised for actually considering such an option without feeling any sort of revulsion towards the thought of such a relationship with his brother, perhaps because he’d been lacking physical affection from the other for so long that the possibility was a welcomed relief.

Was that enough to make him truly consider a romantic relationship with his brother?

He had no idea if his desire for contact existed from a childish need to regain the familial-like intimacy with his older brother or something more, but he would have to figure it out himself. All he knew was that hugging Itachi in that car had been the most intense and wonderful feeling he’d had in a long, long time - so wonderful it had been embarrassing.

He didn’t chastise himself for having gotten a boner because it was no use - Itachi had taken advantage of the momentum - but he had been shocked at the reactions from his heart and body. There was no way he could ignore the fact that he’d been surprisingly attracted to Itachi at that moment, and even if it had blossomed out of the blue due to the number of tumultuous feelings between them, he had to deal with it because it had existed.

Sasuke had hoped that once the storm passed and he was finally alone with his thoughts, away from his brother, he would be able to see things from a more clear-headed perspective. A part of him that was socially conscious hoped that his mind and heart would eventually take a step back, take everything in and realize that he was insane, that he had been mistaken, and that there was no way that he could ever feel real attraction for his brother, let alone be in a romantic or sexual relationship with him. It’s not that he wanted to be disgusted, he just wanted to be rational about it and think correctly about what was right or wrong, as he was supposed to. If that was out of the way, he would most certainly be able to find within himself what his boundaries were and where they stood, what he would and wouldn’t allow from Itachi regarding his feelings.

However, when no such things happened, no matter how much thought he put into it, Sasuke was left with the unbelievable truth that none of it mattered.

Itachi was Itachi and he loved him for him.

Regardless of their broken connection for the past years, Itachi remained the most precious person to him, and the one he would not accept to live without, no matter what. He loved his brother above anyone and anything, and no matter what he did, there was no inherent feeling inside of him capable of rejecting the possibility of an affair with him. 

In fact, to his surprise, he found the idea surprisingly appealing.

Confused as he was, Sasuke felt a conceited sort of pride at knowing his brother’s devotion. Knowing he was loved in such a painful, devastating way consumed him helplessly and there was very little he could do to not want to drown.

He thought that he’d been hated when, in the end, he’d been worshiped in silence. The thought alone shook him to the core.

Still, this could simply be his ego responding to such an awareness. In practical terms, was this even doable? Would Sasuke be able to be a lover to his brother, even if it would help fix everything?

Was the idea of intimacy with Itachi so enticing that it made their potential relationship feel natural?

Not knowing fucking killed him. Unable to sleep or focus, he was sure he’d go crazy soon.

Why was he even considering indulging such a sinful, shameful path, though? Objectively it was horrendous in society’s eyes no matter which angle he considered it from, and yet, the only weight he felt was the guilt of not feeling revulsion.

Was that supposed to tell him something about his true feelings for Itachi?

What the fuck was he supposed to do?

He was the worst. Itachi couldn’t help how he felt, he had agonized for years, yet Sasuke was just diving into this concept without remorse and he couldn’t feel socially conscious no matter how hard he tried. He simply didn’t give a fuck. He was willing to take the plunge and let the outcome provide an answer for him

His parents must be rolling around in their graves.

Sasuke had to know - he’d promised himself that he would find their answer before Itachi left, and he would.

000

It was the afternoon after work and Sasuke was supposed to meet Naruto and their other friends for dinner. Instead, moved by an impending state of anxiousness that had been eating at him throughout the whole day, he found himself standing in front of the door of Itachi’s apartment with his heart hammering inside his chest. 

They had been talking regularly over the phone - several times a day, even - which had been a pleasant change considering they used to talk once a week at most. Sasuke had been happy to conclude that, despite years of being away from each other, making conversation was something that came naturally to them as topics seemed to never run dry. Their regained connection was a newfound joy for both of them, and Sasuke had felt happy like he hadn’t in a long time. 

Itachi never talked about _them_ and never mentioned his feelings. For all Sasuke knew, they were still brothers and his older one behaved as such.

Still, Sasuke found himself lost in a wave of suffocating longing that was completely new and unknown to him. One could almost say that it was derived from years of being away from Itachi, but there was something else nagging at him persistently as well.

He needed to see Itachi - wanted it badly - and he wanted to see what would happen when he did. He couldn’t understand his feelings, couldn’t put his finger on what felt so out of place, but he was a fucking mess that surely wouldn’t be fixed until he found out the truth about himself.

While Sasuke had the keys to his brother’s apartment, for some reason he decided to ring the bell instead, mostly because he had come unannounced.

Thankfully, there was a noise inside the apartment, and it didn’t take long before Itachi opened the door, eyebrows tilted upwards. 

“Sasuke?” he said, surprised. “I thought I’d given you a key. You didn’t need to ring the bell.”

“I didn’t want to intrude,” Sasuke replied, allowing his gaze to run over his brother’s figure. Itachi’s long black hair was loose, cascading over his shoulders and chest, and he was wearing a tight-fitting grey tank top over a pair of black pajama pants. There was no doubt that, even in such casual attire, he was immensely handsome, sexy even.

 _Oh, no._ Sasuke thought, inhaling sharply through his nose as a chill ran down his spine.

“You don’t intrude at all,” Itachi assured him easily, stepping out of the way to grant him passage. Sasuke walked inside with a small nod. “It’s funny, I was just about to call you to ask if you wanted to have dinner together. I’m leaving tomorrow night.”

“I know,” Sasuke muttered, removing his shoes unceremoniously as Itachi closed the door behind him. “That’s why I came since we haven’t exactly hung out.”

“I’m glad.” Sasuke turned around to face his brother, who was watching him curiously with his arms crossed over his chest. "What's wrong?"

Itachi had always been able to read him like a book, and right now it was no different aS his eyes exposed the awareness that Sasuke was upset.

Well, ‘upset’ wasn't the right word for it, Sasuke concluded, swallowing hard. "There's something I need to try."

However, he didn't give Itachi the time to ask further questions.

Taking advantage of the opening provided by his brother's confusion, Sasuke reached out to wrap his fingers around the fabric of the other’s tank top before roughly pulling him so close their noses brushed. They exchanged a quick look, Itachi's eyes widening for a fraction of a second, but Sasuke didn't allow it to intimidate him as he leaned in to press his mouth to the one in front of him.

There was a gasp coming from Itachi, then a moan as Sasuke instinctively pressed his body forward against his, mouth parting and tongue darting out to pry his brother's lips apart.

Itachi's hesitation didn't last because he quickly gave in to his impulses by draping his arms around Sasuke's waist and responding with everything he had.

As their tongues met urgently and mouths moved in equal eagerness - the experimental factor making their kiss clumsy - Sasuke could feel the breathtaking intensity of Itachi's desire for him to a horrifying extent, almost as if it emanated from his very soul.

Itachi was elated, and Sasuke felt a private sense of arrogance and excitement at the knowledge. Since they were currently about the same height, his brother's arousal was obvious against his groin and it was… pretty fucking amazing. 

The whole damn thing was pretty fucking amazing, and while a part of Sasuke had already expected it, another part was completely in awe.

Itachi’s body was strong, warm, and perfect against him, the love he had neglected now pouring out of him like heavenly nectar. He wanted to make sure Sasuke understood it, _felt it,_ too.

And Sasuke liked it - all of it - and he wanted more. His body seemed to agree because it was reacting rather quickly. His heartfelt like it was going to jump out of his chest, and new as it all was, it felt natural, comfortable even. He wanted it all so badly he thought he might go insane.

Was this indeed surprising, or had Sasuke been expecting this outcome all along? He should’ve known it would feel like this, should’ve known he would be able to give himself wholeheartedly, effortlessly. 

Why had Itachi taken so long to tell him? Why had he waited so long to come to this conclusion when it had been there all along?

There was no love like the one he had for his brother. 

He’d never been able to fall in love or have a serious relationship, his emotions always guarded, his heart empty as if nothing could ever fill it. In the back of his mind, his relationship with Itachi had always been present, that desire to reconcile stronger than anything else, more important, like an issue that wouldn’t allow him to be free until he solved it.

And now he had, and he should’ve fucking known. He should’ve known he’d been in love from the very start.

What now?

Did it even matter?

“Wait... hold on,” Sasuke breathed against Itachi’s lips, before breaking the kiss and pulling away slightly. His voice, however, got stuck in his throat as his eyes met the man’s fascinated ones. “I…”

“I’m going to guess you satisfied your curiosity,” Itachi said in a low, yet loving murmur. His brother’s expression was intense but serious. “Sasuke, what are you doing? You shouldn’t have...”

“Don’t say anything stupid,” Sasuke interjected, breathlessly, placing his palms flat again against Itachi’s chest and pushing him carefully away until they were no longer touching. “I just need a moment.”

As expected, Itachi offered no resistance and all but sighed, running a hand over his hair. “Of course.”

Despite himself, Sasuke’s gaze traveled over Itachi’s body again, his eyes stopping shamelessly at the obvious bulge in his pants, which caused his mouth to salivate and a dangerous wave of lust to wash over him.

Blood rushed down to his cock and up to his cheeks. Swiftly turning on his heels, he made his way to the small bathroom without another word, slamming the door shut behind him.

With shaky hands, he fished his mobile phone from his pocket.

 _I won’t be able to make it to dinner_ , he typed the message to Naruto quickly, yet his fingers froze for a couple of seconds. Then, he proceeded. _I thought about us and I can’t do it. I’m sorry. We’ll talk about it tomorrow._

Sasuke sent the text, then placed his cellphone on the edge of the sink. Hopefully, Naruto wouldn’t try to contact him and both of them could talk it out properly the next day. 

Heaving a trembling sigh, Sasuke stared at himself in the mirror, his red-colored cheeks and anxious expression making him feel like he was looking at someone completely different. His wet and swollen lips were a thoroughly embarrassing sight and he couldn’t help the short laugh that snaked out of his chest.

He smiled, closing his eyes. Was he supposed to believe that he was a freak for loving his brother if it made him feel this way? This wonderful, ecstatic, and fulfilled way that couldn’t be compared to anything in this world? He had been lucky for only having experienced the final part of it since there had never been an ounce of self-hatred within him since the beginning, unlike what his brother had experienced.

He and Itachi were fucked, but at least they would be fucked together. It didn’t matter if things would get tough, they would find a way.

They had to find a way to make it work, a way for them to be happy together - they would.

But right now, all Sasuke wanted was to seal the distance between them for good and make sure Itachi knew exactly where they stood.

000

As with everything that concerned Sasuke, Itachi felt torn between overflowing happiness and immense fear.

Sasuke had kissed him, perhaps to test himself and his feelings, and he had enjoyed it, that much had been obvious. Still, how much of that was impulsive, and how much was rational? How much of his feelings would Sasuke allow to take over before his rational mind would put a stop to it?

Itachi wasn’t happy that he was in love with his younger brother. In a perfect world, he could dream of having his feelings reciprocated, could envision a relationship, but in this world, they were still brothers, both men, it was still incest, and things would always be complicated. If Sasuke wanted to walk away from it all, it would be understandable.

But Sasuke had promised to stay, had promised an answer, and Itachi had to believe that he would do the right thing for both of them, even if it meant that they’d remain as brothers.

Even if he doubted Sasuke would want to indulge in this crazy fantasy - and even if he knew that not indulging was the best choice - Itachi couldn’t help but feel hopeful.

Shisui had always reminded him of Sasuke’s love and admiration, and in truth, his little brother had never abandoned him, never let go of the hope that they could eventually go back to being close. Their former relationship had always been far too intimate, too physical and affectionate, even before Itachi had realized how he felt.

Had Sasuke realized it, too? Had he concluded that maybe their bond was something stronger than themselves?

Controversial as it was, Itachi couldn’t help but desire that it would be so.

And now, Sasuke had kissed him. What did it mean? 

That kind of intimacy with Sasuke had been beautiful. Sasuke was a stunning creature, reckless and passionate and Itachi wanted him with a force not even he could control, thus the reason why he had pushed him away.

Was someone as sinful as him even allowed to entertain such a thing when he’d be tainting the person he loved the most in the world?

_I’m going to hell…_

Sitting on the hallway floor with his back against the closed bathroom floor, Itachi was patiently waiting.

 _“Itachi…”_ Sasuke’s voice called out from the other side of the door as if he knew his older brother was there _. “Let's start a relationship.”_

Heartbeat hammering inside his chest, Itachi quickly stood up, facing the door.

“What are you saying?” he called out hesitantly, unsure of whether he’d heard correctly.

 _“I’m saying I thought about us over and over again during these last few days,”_ Sasuke replied, seriously. _“No matter how much I thought about you, I realized that I don’t want to lose you because I love you enough to do this. No, scratch that: that I love you enough to_ **_want_ ** _to do this.”_ He stopped himself. _“I was dying to kiss you. That was the best kiss of my life.”_

Moved by impulse as a torrent of emotions assaulted him, Itachi placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door to see Sasuke standing there, his back straight and his eyes full of conviction, certainty.

“Say that again,” Itachi demanded, needing the reassurance that he wasn’t dreaming, that this was real, and that Sasuke acquiesced his request. Carefully, he took a single step towards him so they were standing in front of each other, their chests almost touching.

“I love you,” Sasuke said, uttering every word clearly, taking advantage of the closeness so he could reach out and wrap a hand around the back of Itachi’s neck, eyes never leaving his brother’s. “And I want to be with you.”

He made it so their mouths were sinfully close and Itachi held his breath, waiting, wondering whether he was being teased or tested, _again_. Either way, he would most certainly not take the step to cross the line - it would always be Sasuke’s call because that was all he could do. 

There was no doubt that, like Itachi himself, Sasuke was enjoying this sort of intimacy, but what were his intentions, exactly?

That was when Itachi felt Sasuke’s free hand on his hip, a thumb sneaking inside the hem of his tank top to touch skin, slowly rubbing the spot there.

“Sasuke…” Itachi called out, his voice a mixture of excitement and warning. “Don’t do something you’ll regret for my sake because I couldn’t possibly forgive myself.”

“I love you,” Sasuke repeated, lusciously, with a firm conviction that left little space for doubt. The sneaky hand moved again now, palm turning so it was confidently - and shamelessly - pressing against the line of Itachi’s hard cock over his pants, making him shiver as control threatened to leave him. “There’s no doubt in my mind. That’s why nothing made sense and no-one else seemed to be enough. The only thing I’ll ever regret is the wasted years we spent fighting that we could’ve been together.” Itachi couldn’t help a moan as Sasuke’s hand began to rub him. Lips were pressed to the corner of his mouth before the tip of Sasuke’s tongue sneaked out to lick at the spot. “I love you and I want you so bad I can’t stand it. Please don’t think about anything else, right now.”

How could he not when the love of his life had just confessed to wanting him? His Sasuke, his little brother he had so longed for, feared, marveled, and desired, who wanted him back and was so willing to have him.

Sasuke was a demanding, confident man that was not afraid of reaching out for what he wanted and Itachi felt a little dazzled by his guts, his courage to dive in without a second thought - it was worthy of admiration.

It almost felt as if he always found new reasons to fall in love with Sasuke over and over again. It was exhausting, really, but if it was going to be like this, he didn’t care. He had been denying himself and his needs for far too long, and as dangerous and sinful as it was, he wanted nothing more than to soothe this infernal ache.

His body ached for Sasuke - his very soul screamed to touch him and hold, consume him until there was nothing else. To know he was reciprocated was a blissfulness beyond any possible heavenly gift.

However, once more, Itachi was being pulled and kissed before he could reply, Sasuke’s soft yet relentless mouth a firm statement of his intentions and feelings as if he didn’t want to leave room for doubts, and the older one accepted it for what it was, gratefully receiving it as he hugged Sasuke with all his might, bringing their bodies together. 

The effect was immediate as a thunder of desire seemed to strike them both. The heaviness of their feelings was mixed with the primal urge to unveil each other for the first time, as quickly as possible, and as hard as possible. Years of holding back had Itachi feeling this urgency, yet Sasuke’s visceral body language didn’t drag behind because he wanted it just as much, and in the same way.

Their kiss was fast-paced, noisy, and wet, Sasuke’s fingers having hooked inside the bands of Itachi’s pants and boxes to urgently pull them down, easily freeing his erect cock from its confines and immediately delivering a few quick pumps that had Itachi grunting at how perfect it felt.

It was too much, too soon, but he’d never felt this good with another person in his life. Itachi could feel his cock leaking already judging from Sasuke’s slippery touch, and he could safely say that he had never been this turned on in his life.

His Sasuke. His heart would explode, he was sure.

Sasuke smelled and tasted clean, his tight body responsive and burning against Itachi’s. The younger one wasn’t shy, gasping seductively as Itachi pushed him backward until his lower back was pressed against the sink, lifting one leg to wrap it around his waist as tongues slid over each other, intent on devouring as much as physically possible.

Sasuke broke the kiss to attack the column of Itachi’s neck then, his thumb massaging the head of Itachi’s cock in tempo with his pumps, showing off reasonably impressive skills. Even if he was the one being pushed against that sink, the younger man was more than comfortable dominating the scene and making a fine mess out of Itachi. He had a way with his mouth, too, running a smooth tongue over the exposed skin before offering it a few careful, but meaningful nibbles that forced a shiver out of Itachi.

“Ah, that’s good,” he breathed, unable to stop his hips from thrusting so he could get more of that delicious friction as he offered a small bite to the lobe of the other’s ear. He knew he was close to losing his focus, his control, too immersed and overwhelmed by everything happening between them.

“You can come if you think you’ll be able to fuck me afterward,” Sasuke said huskily, a lewd tone Itachi had never heard from him but enjoyed more than he cared to admit.

Still, wonderful as the prospect was - and for as much as the animalistic part of him wanted it - for a second Itachi found himself hesitating. He leaned away slightly to look at Sasuke’s handsome and oddly content features. “Are you sure?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“About you topping me, or about the two of us fucking?” Sasuke retorted, with a sinfully sarcastic smile. Itachi had to blink a few times to clear his head. 

There was no insecurity in Sasuke’s intense gaze, no fear, and for as horny as he was, he seemed lucid enough to be conscious of his actions and decisions.

Itachi was struck by how gorgeous that confident look was, and how much that lust-filled gaze suited him.

Sasuke had always been strong and intelligent, but in his older brother’s eyes, he had always seemed so young, so pure and unattainable - someone too good to be a receptacle of his sick love and desire, too innocent to be tainted.

But they were both adults now, and Sasuke, beautiful as he was, was far from being innocent, and it made every cell in Itachi’s body scream in exhilaration.

“Both.” Itachi took a small breath to keep his control in check. “You know what this means. It’s too sudden, too soon.”

“It’s not soon enough,” Sasuke countered in a resolute whisper that betrayed his eagerness, his breath colliding with Itachi’s lips, fist tightening more around Itachi’s cock and working faster as if to rile him further, the leg around his waist pulling him closer, inviting him. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. But don’t worry, I’ll have you pay me back with interest soon enough.”

How could Itachi be immune to something like that? It was all he needed because he wasted no time in slamming his mouth against Sasuke’s again in a deep, quick kiss that did nothing to soothe his libido before his hands hurriedly worked in pulling Sasuke’s sweater up. They pulled away from each other only enough for Sasuke to let go of Itachi’s cock so he could lift his arms and allow Itachi to slide the fabric over his head and throw it aside.

Itachi wanted to waste a few seconds appreciating his brother’s toned and lithe body, but Sasuke was already bringing his own hands to Itachi’s tank top to divest him of the offending piece of cloth. 

When Sasuke’s eyes quickly trailed a path down Itachi’s torso and darkened lustfully, the older one noticed with glee that he was pleased by what he was seeing. But Itachi wasn’t willing to let him have the upper hand anymore because he, too, wanted desperately to have him losing control.

It didn’t take long before Sasuke unexpectedly reached out again and fisted Itachi’s hair with both hands and pulled him in for another kiss, but the other only indulged him for a short while before breaking the contact and turning his attention lower, hungrily showering kisses all over Sasuke’s neck and down his chest.

Sasuke wasn’t shy in voicing his pleasure as Itachi mouthed at a small, pink nipple wetly, curiously, marvelled at its softness. There would be time to explore further, to discover what made Sasuke tick, but for now, he had to go for the basics of what he knew and hope that his brother would like it. 

Still, Sasuke was rather bossy, unapologetically closing his fingers tighter on his hair, directing Itachi’s head even lower, a silent demand of what he truly wanted right now, and it was such a turn on the older man could only obey, his tongue tracing a path down the other’s navel and sliding lower until he was on his knees on the bathroom floor.

Sasuke’s fingers didn’t relax their hold, though, but this only fueled Itachi’s passion further. 

He could feel Sasuke’s eyes on him, hear Sasuke’s rapid breathing. “You’re really hot, Itachi,” the youngest one sighed as if he couldn’t believe it himself. 

Itachi didn’t reply, swallowing hard as he felt his cock throb, begging for attention while his nimble hands did an efficient job in undoing the buttons of Sasuke’s jeans, anxious to see what hid behind the hard bulge underneath. As he pulled said jeans and underwear down, Itachi regretted having his hair loose because it was starting to stick to the sides of his face due to perspiration and becoming a nuisance - not that Sasuke was complaining because he seemed content enough in manhandling his hair whichever way he saw fit.

Sasuke’s cock bobbed out, mercilessly rigid, the pinkish head weeping and peaking from within the pale foreskin. Itachi had never considered another man’s cock to be something very pleasing to look at, yet Sasuke’s was perfect, not so modest in size, the skin a beautiful contrast against dark, well-trimmed pubes and a delicate curvature.

Sasuke’s hands on his air urging him forward were unnecessary because Itachi had every intention of having a taste regardless of his whims.

Eagerly, Itachi reached out to grab for the turgid member and pull the foreskin back slightly. Then, he parted his lips and took it in his mouth, his brain almost short-circuiting as he felt the salty taste of Sasuke’s desire in his tongue.

“Ngh, fuck,” he heard his brother saying above him, shakily. “Itachi… fuck, yes…”

But Itachi didn’t care to respond, too immersed in the act, his mind simultaneously cloudy and focused. He wanted to make Sasuke squirm, but also knew that he wouldn’t be able to last for long.

Hands were caressing the top of his head lovingly now as he took Sasuke’s cock deeper inside his mouth, tongue sliding along the length before pulling back. Feeling it twitch in pleasure, he did this a few times, feeling his own cock dripping in desperation, precum oozing out and landing on the tiled floor. He had to reach out between his legs and offer his erection a few, slow pumps to ease the tension, which caused him to moan around Sasuke.

He couldn’t remember a moment in his life when he’d been this turned on, this desperate for release. Itachi had always been the composed one, the one in control, yet his emotions seemed to enhance everything because every action coming from Sasuke drove him completely insane. 

There was no matching Sasuke’s taste, the feel of his skin, the scents that came from him, and the sounds that escaped his perfect mouth. If this was hell, Itachi was glad to have come this far.

There was love and lust and longing threatening to overflow between them. Never in his wildest dreams would he have believed this to be possible, and yet, here they were, and Sasuke was giving himself completely while wanting it as much as Itachi did.

“Itachi…” Sasuke called out, clearly on edge as well. “Where… the condoms… I didn’t wash up...”

With a small grunt, Itachi allowed Sasuke’s cock to slide out of his mouth. He felt slightly disappointed, but he wanted them to successfully go all the way, and time was running out for both of them.

Nevertheless, even if it was short, Itachi would make sure Sasuke had the best fuck of his life - so far.

If Sasuke had willingly given himself to him, Itachi would show him exactly the kind of lover he was so that he would never want or need anyone else.

Wiping at his mouth, Itachi stood, Sasuke’s grip releasing his hair completely to give him space. “In the first drawer behind you,” he said, mentioning the set of wooden drawers under the sink. 

Sasuke jumped a bit as if he’d just realized they’d been there and leaned away from them so he could reach behind him and open the first one. He rummaged through it for a while, clearly too eager to keep his hands steady until he found what he was looking for - two condoms and a small bottle of lube.

For some reason, seeing the items brought a dryness to Itachi’s throat because it meant that it was serious - they would go through with this. The thought alone made him feel dizzy and caused his heart to beat in a crazy painful way, yet he took a steadying breath as he looked into Sasuke’s expectant eyes. 

“Turn around,” he said, glad that his voice was a lot steadier than he felt, taking the bottle of lube and the condoms from Sasuke’s hands.

Sasuke swallowed hard and nodded. Without saying a word, he did as he was told, placing both hands on the edge of the sink.

Trying to keep as much composure as he could, Itachi opened the first condom and carefully rolled it over his cock - the friction an unwanted bliss that didn’t help keep his control in check. He then opened the second condom and rolled it over his index and middle fingers before throwing their containers in the bin next to the sink. Sasuke was watching his reflection on the mirror with anticipation, his now unfocused eyes trying to see what Itachi was doing.

Finally, Itachi uncapped the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount over his condom covered fingers, using them to evenly spread some lube over his hardness. Then, he unceremoniously threw the bottle to the sink.

He took a moment to appreciate how lewd and sensual the scene in front of him was and how gorgeous Sasuke’s body was. Long gone were the days when Sasuke had been scruffy because now he was all taut muscles and delicious raw masculinity that oozed sex appeal.

Sasuke tried to spread his legs as much as he could with his jeans lowered like that and Itachi took the chance to come closer again, pressing his chest against Sasuke’s back. He heard his brother sigh before pressing his ass back invitingly against Itachi’s cock, his seductive ways taking the older man by surprise again.

“You’re a demon,” Itachi whispered, his lips against Sasuke’s shoulder as his covered fingers made their way between their bodies and between the crevice of Sasuke’s round, perfect ass. “I won’t last, but neither will you.”

“Good,” Sasuke breathed. “Fuck, just hurry up…”

In the mirror, Itachi watched his brother close his eyes and part his lips as he carefully rubbed his entrance experimentally. Sasuke looked so stunning in that dim yellow light, his chest exposed and his cock glistering, unwavering, just for Itachi alone. It made the most monstrous things come alive inside him. He noticed Sasuke’s ass offered no resistance, lust having made it almost receptive to intrusion. 

Biting down on Sasuke’s shoulder teasingly, Itachi slowly nudged the tips of his fingers inside, eliciting a moan from the other. “More,” Sasuke begged, short of breath as he impatiently pushed back further. “It’s fine, I can take it.”

Itachi would have smiled if he could do so, but he was moving more out of impulse than rationality, so he couldn’t find the strength or will. Sasuke wanted to undo him completely - he was remarkably good at it, too, everything he did and said striking a vicious chord inside him - and Itachi’s mind was cracking.

Tough luck, though, Itachi had already decided that he would be the one doing the undoing first, even if he felt so close to orgasming he could barely think. They’d have time for deep explorations in the future.

Without thinking too much of what he was doing, Itachi reached around Sasuke’s body to wrap a hand around his cock. Sasuke all but cursed, moaning as Itachi pumped him expertly at the same time as he mercilessly nudged the two fingers inside Sasuke’s ass and thrust deep, his actions rough but careful. The pucker expectedly throbbed and tensed around his digits before relaxing again, taking them in wantonly. Itachi allowed a shiver to run through him before he pressed further in, sliding his fingers in and out smoothly, knowing exactly where to hit, and by Sasuke’s reaction, he was nailing it just right.

Sasuke’s cock was slippery and deliciously wet in Itachi’s hand, the younger man losing all reason as he gasped, all sorts of ludicrous sounds leaving him as his hips shakily and desperately moved to fuck the grasp - or himself in Itachi’s fingers, who knew?

It only took a few seconds for Sasuke to voice out his orgasm, his body trembling helplessly as he clenched around the digits fucking him, Itachi’s eyes quickly moving from the ecstatic look on his brother’s face in the mirror down to his cock so he could see its beautiful pulsing as pearly warmth came out in long spurts that hit the ceramic of the sink and coated his hand as he milked it to the very last drop. It was quite a sight.

Itachi almost lost his strength at how ridiculously hot it was.

Sasuke was a mess, his head tilted down as he breathed hard, his legs quivering from the intensity, but Itachi was too much on the brink of losing it to give him time to recover. 

Finally stopping his ministrations and letting go of Sasuke’s cock, he was mindful enough to be gentle as he removed his digits from within Sasuke, who groaned slightly, before removing the condom from his fingers and throwing it away.

Sasuke didn’t complain when he felt hands pushing his cheeks apart and his brother’s cock probing his entrance, nudging inside with frustrating slowness but not kind enough to prepare him properly. Still, he didn’t seem to mind, holding his breath as he willingly accommodated the invasion, forcing himself to relax.

Indulging him, Itachi pushed inside in one swift move, the heat surrounding him cruelly, engulfing, and the most exhilarating thing he’d ever felt in his life. Sasuke was unforgivingly tight but wet, slippery enough.

Itachi felt drunk. It was unbelievable that he was there, inside his beloved Sasuke, surrounded by nothing but love, desire, and the blissfulness of what they were.

“Ah… do it,” Sasuke demanded between clenched teeth, bringing a hand behind him to touch Itachi’s thigh, urging him on. His reflection looked pained, and not entirely focused, but there was also pleasurable despair splattered all over his features. “Don’t hold back, I want you to come.”

There was no way Itachi could, anyway, not when he was given permission in such a lewd way.

Wrapping an arm around Sasuke’s torso so they could be pressed together, his chest glued to Sasuke’s back, Itachi pulled out only to roughly push back inside again. Sasuke gasped, the harsh motion making him lose balance as he had to put a hand on the mirror for leverage. Itachi almost laughed but instead chose to shower wet kisses along the back of Sasuke’s neck as he started to move, his pace fast from the very start, every thrust deep.

“Jesus…” Sasuke gasped, his trembling voice hoarse in pleasure, shocked as he was fucked probably deeper than he’d ever been in his life “Oh... _God_ …”

Itachi rubbed Sasuke’s nipple between his fingers, reveling in its soft perkiness as he buried his teeth in Sasuke’s ear, his tongue darting out to lick at it lusciously as he relentlessly plunged inside that overwhelmingly perfect body, rocking them both at an unforgiving pace. He could feel pleasure pooling in his loins, alerting him to his imminent undoing, but he didn’t want to go there alone if he could help it, that much he knew.

Again, his other hand found Sasuke’s still very lively cock so he urgently stroked it with everything he had, noticing that his brother was convulsing slightly now, letting out a series of incoherent curses and suffering noises that Itachi could no longer hear. He wondered if Sasuke was crying, but he couldn’t see anything anymore.

Itachi had just started to come, pleasure washing over him when he felt Sasuke’s ass tightening viciously around him repeatedly, milking him for all he was worth, and he could all but sink his teeth on his lower lip and ride him hard, making sure their completion was as brutal and satisfying as he possibly could. How he loved the feel of Sasuke’s come in his hand, Sasuke’s tightness around him, the feel of their bodies together - he didn’t want it to end.

But it did as both their orgasms stopped and the high subsided. Neither could speak for a while as they tried to keep their breathing in check and recover from the intensity of it.

Gently, Itachi held Sasuke with an arm, rubbing his chest soothingly. As his vision cleared, he was able to see Sasuke’s thoroughly exhausted reflection that was also undeniably satiated. That expression alone was worth years of wait. Sasuke’s eyes were closed and the hand supporting him in the mirror was trembling.

This time, upon seeing Sasuke’s disheveled hair and sweaty face, Itachi did smile. Cautiously, he released his brother’s now softening cock and slid out of him, secretly pleased at the low grunt that followed. With gentle gestures, not caring if his hands were dirty, he turned Sasuke gently so they were facing each other. 

Sasuke’s eyes were heavy with post-coital bliss, but there was still happiness and love there as they found Itachi’s. It was him who leaned forward so they could share a lazy kiss that spoke words of their feelings about this.

“I hope it wasn’t too much,” Itachi said once they parted, letting his head fall so their foreheads connected. “I got too excited; it seems.”

“I hope you get excited like this all the time,” Sasuke said, with a tired chuckle. “You’re the first person who was able to make me come twice in a row and it was fucking amazing.”

“Hopefully I’ll be the last, too,” Itachi said, planting a small kiss on Sasuke’s nose as he put his arms around the man, holding him close. 

That was all he wanted. No matter what stood in their path, no matter what people said and no matter how many challenges they would have to face, he was willing to fight. If, before, he’d been scared of his feelings, now that he had Sasuke by his side, he felt like everything was possible and that, together, they were capable of finding a place for themselves. 

There were many things they needed to talk about, many things they needed to settle, but life wasn’t kind to them yet as they still had things to finish before they could build a life together. 

Regardless, Itachi didn’t care as long as Sasuke would always be there, waiting for him.

His love couldn’t be that damned if it was this deep, could it?

All he wanted was for them to always go back to each other, just like this.

Sasuke all but heaved a small, content sigh before hugging him back. “Definitely.”

And, for some reason, Itachi knew it would be true.

** The End **

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